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It’s been a busy year in the life sciences, and STAT has been there, covering everything from a Moonshot to cure cancer to the patent fight over CRISPR. Here’s the health and science news of 2016 — in limerick form. Enjoy!

On Trump

It seems our president-to-be
Wants to privatize new hips and knees
Medicare could see big changes
After Congress rearranges
It’s a new era in health for the GOP


On Theranos

To investors, a grand tale was spun
Theranos tech? Epic home run.
A new frontier in medicine
Brought to you by Edison!
But now? $9 billion’s turned into none.


A fight is well underway
For a technology that could save the day
This battle of patents
Features cerebral combatants
Who’ll CRISPR our diseases away

On Hollywood

The Jennys of Hollywood are busy
Their dabbles in science, causing a tizzy
It’s TV for Lopez’s C.R.I.S.P.R.
And Lawrence’s Theranos whisper?
“Black turtlenecks?! I’m playing Lizzie!”


On Moonshot

Two moonshots are chasing an answer
On how to finally vanquish cancer
The White House leads the game;
Soon-Shiong’s effort? A bit lame
Though he may be the stronger financier

On Marijuana

This year’s voting passed a new screed:
More states have now legalized weed!
Now we’re testing acid and ecstasy
For depression and PTSD
Using street drugs to meet unmet need.

On Martin

Drug pricing? Pandora’s black box
First Shkreli, then the EpiPen shocks
It’s all a bit frightening
But also enlightening
We can expect way more price gouging talks